Long, Overdue Update!

I first need to thank you for continue to follow the blog, even when I haven't updated in months! I'm not even sure where I left off. Life has been insane!! The last three months have gone by in the blink of an eye, but have left me exhausted!!

Our first IUI was a bust. The day AF showed up was a very raw, emotional day. I just didn't think it would hurt that bad. I mean I've gotten my period for the last 14 years or so, but never realized how much it would hurt to get it. Well, after that cycle, we started back to our next cycle. I was full of cysts...great... So, back on birth control for one cycle (hello to an old friend). This was hard for me to do. I mean I am trying to get pregnant and there I am back on birth control. Weird, huh?

So, after a long month on birth control, we end up starting all over again. After days of injections and sonograms and blood work, we had our 2nd IUI today. We were pretty tight with time as my Pap has a knee replacement yesterday (I had to take him to Johnstown hospital) and Todd leaves tomorrow for Chicago. So, the IUI had to be today and luckily everything worked out. I had two follicals (16 and 18). I am hoping and praying for the best. It's all we can really do at this point...So, I will be able to take a home test in two weeks.

This cycle is a little different than the last IUI. I will start progestroine tomorrow night when I go to bed. I am hoping this helps with conception. We will have to wait and see what happens!!

Seeing a chiropractor has been good for me as well. She sees other patients with infertility issues and has given me some great advice. I will continue with this treatment, as it's pretty similar to acupuncture and insurance will cover it! Which makes it even better.

We also decided to go and meet with an adoption agency. This was a big step for us, but part of me feels that adoption maybe the right step for us. About three weeks ago we went and met with Adoptions From the Heart. They work in about 6 states and do domestic and international adoption. We would like to do a domestic adoption as we feel this best fits into our lifestyle. Currently the wait is roughly 2 years, but it could be as quick at a few months. With domestic adoption, the Birth Mother would select the parents, so it would depend on how long it would take us to get selected. The agency places 200 babies a year, and they really work with the birth mothers throughout their entire pregnancy.

It's a really exicitng option for us! We have to complete all infertility treatments before we would move onto adoption, we can pursue both at the same time. We had already decided that we would complete 3 IUI's and then reevulate our situation. It's a tough decision, with many unanswered questions. Like is this the right thing for us to do? Should we try IVF? If we adopt will I still long to have my own biological child? Soooo many questions. I just know that we want a family, and ofcourse we would rather have it sooner than later. But it's all in God's hands right??

Overall adoption maybe the answer for us to start our family, and heck maybe in a few years we will get pregnant on our own? Who really knows?

We are going to continue to explore our options and hope that maybe one of our IUI's will work?? We can only hope!! Thanks for your support as we decide what will be best for us and our family!!!

YOUR AGE BY CHOCOLATE MATH

Don't tell me your age; you probably would tell a falsehood anyway
-but the Hershey Man will know! YOUR AGE BY CHOCOLATE MATH

This is pretty neat.

DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST!
It takes less than a minute .
Work this out as you read .
Be sure you don't read the bottom until you've worked it out!
This is not one of those waste of time things, it's fun.

1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to have chocolate (more than once but less than 10)

2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold)

3. Add 5

4. Multiply it by 50 -- I'll wait while you get the calculator

5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1759 ..
If you haven't, add 1758.

6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.

You should have a three digit number
The first digit of this was your original number
(i.e., how many times you want to have chocolate each week).

The next two numbers are

YOUR AGE! (Oh YES, it is!!!!!)

THIS IS THE ONLY YEAR (2009) IT WILL EVER WORK, SO SPREAD IT AROUND WHILE IT LASTS.
Chocolate Calculator.

Another canceled Cycle...

We went in for our baseline today and unfortunately my last cycle left me with many lovely cysts. This is a side affect from the injectables. Thanks Gonal-F! The funny part is that they are putting me on birth control for the month!! Yup, back on the pill for one cycle! It's so weird, to be trying to get pregnant and going on the pill.

I don't know how I feel about this at all. I need the cycsts to dissolve and I'm willing to do anything, but it's sooo weird and frustrating.

So, we have about a month until we can start back-up again. I just hope it doesn't fall on when my husband is going to be out of town in November for work! Ugh!! So frustrated today....

In the meantime, we have started to research adoption agencies. I'm ready for a baby, it might not be my biological baby, but we will have one eventually.

Another cycle....

Long time, no update. It's been a crazy fall. We made it through an entire cycle without being canceled! YEAH! I had two eggs on the right, that was mature after days of pumping my body full of follitsim +ovidrel= IUI. Yup, we had our first IUI. It was interesting. Todd went in at 8am, and made a very successful deposit, and I went in at 10 to make the withdrawl.

The doctor stated that Todd deserved a gold star, as we had many fast swimmers! But unforuately, 8 days after our IUI, AF showed up. I was a hot mess yesterday. I think I cried the entire day. I just can't believe this is happening to us. We are good people, who would love a child, and provide a wonderful home. I began thinking maybe this wasn't mean for us, maybe we just are not meant to have children. Maybe we are not meant to have a natural child, maybe we are supposed to adopt, or not have any children at all. Ugh, so frustrating. After hours of tears between the two of us, we decided to try another cycle. I will go in tomorrow for my baseline. Luckily, I have some donated meds, and this will take me through again this month.

Our IUI, last cycle ran $1,400 and we have not a damn thing to show for all of that money spent. My entire cycle lasted 19 days, and now we are back to beginning. I just hope that I am able to ovulate on the right side this cycle.

I changed a few things in my life, I started seeing a chiropractor, which has been great. I noticed a huge difference in my back and the way that I feel. I truly believe this is something I will stick with for awhile. I also started exercising. A friend and myself started zumba classes, which I love! I also started weight watchers and I am currently down 15lbs! I hope to continue to lose weight becuase if we decided to do IVF, I will need to lose at least 20lbs. I just don't know if IVF is the route we are going to take.

I spent sometime today calling adoption agencies and doing some research from that end. We should be receiving a lot of packets of information in the next few days. Research will help to keep us busy and hopefully my mind off of the obvious that I maybe experiencing another holiday without a baby. I think the fall starts to get to me every year...the cute pictures of thoes babies in pumpkin patches.....and picking out costumes and just spending time with family. It really gets to me somedays. I think Christmas will be really hard for me this year... Pray that I don't go postal over the holidays.

I never imagined how bad this would hurt. Somedays I'm really a mess. I have this "strong" exterior and I like to think I am a strong individual, but geeze, the last two days I have been an emotional hot mess. I guess this is to be expected.

Please continue to pray for us as we enter a new cycle, and new hope of starting our family.

The Infertility Board Game

Another canceled cycle, WW and Life...

So, it's been awhile since I updated. I apologize. Life has taken me all over the place lately! We have another canceled cycle, two cycles in a row that I have ovulated from the left. It's a little frustrating, but oh well, what are you going to do with 1/2 of a uterus and one tube, ya know? So, I am patiently (not really) waiting for my next cycle so that we can finally do an IUI. Yup, we are moving on from timed intercourse (obviously this hasn't worked or I would be pregnant) and moving into an IUI. It you are not sure what that is, you can read about it here.

So, in the meantime, my friend (who is also experiencing infertility) and I started weight watchers, we also started our own club "fat and infertile". I am down 10lbs. and feeling pretty good about myself! I would love to lose a mim. of 20, (per doctors recommendations) but I would be happier with even more! With infertility injections, the interruption with running to the doctors every other day for ultrasounds and the added stress of not being able to multiple has been frustrating and has taken a toll on my body. I've also started zumba classes with another friend. Twice a week, we head over and exercise. I really enjoy the class, I love dancing and I am just overall feeling better about myself.

We had a consult with our RE about a month ago now. We discussed why nothing has really worked for us and what we can do to make that better. She also immediately brought up IVF, which really scared me. I really don't want to have to spend $22,000+ for a child. If this happens, we may only have one, and I really want more than one child. This is when the RE suggested that I lose at least 20lbs. for IVF, as we would have more success and it'll be safer for me and the baby. I am willing to do anything to start our family. It's been hard the last few weeks, not like this is an easy adventure or not, but really hard the last week or so.

I swear EVERYWHERE I go there is someone pregnant, my zumba instructor, a few girls who attend the zumba class, my sister-in-law, two friends, four family friends, cousins, my Nan's cleaning lady, two co-workers, and well it feels like just about everyone around me in pregnant, except me. It's frustarting sometimes, it's annoying and often it's sad. I know we will overcome this someway or another, whether we get pregnant, adopt or decided to just skip the family part of our lives all together, but I really hope we are able to get pregnant and have a family.

Other than the infertility struggle our lives were also turned upside down last week when our swimmg pool which is very large, exploded! Yup, 13,000 galloons of water allll through 5 neighbor's yards, a neighbros shed was picked-up and moved about 30 feet in the woods (destroyed)! We have a small savings, but we really were not expecting to spend it on a new pool. So, needless to say, after a lot of clean-up of our neighbor's yards, our swimming season came to an end a little early. Homeowners insurance (state farm) will not cover our pool, but they will cover our neighbor's shed. It's a little frustrating, but overall, we are glad no one got hurt and no one was in the pool when it happened. We purchased a new pool ($2,000) and it should be here tomorrow. We are going to install the pool ourselves before winter.

In other sad news, my step-mom's mother had a stroke last week, this was very sad! She also had to have a pace maker put in all in one week! So, if you have any extra prayers or vibes please send them her way! Hopefully she feels better soon!

In more sad news, my mother (who I haven't really spoken to since I was 10) her father passed away in an automobile accident on route 22 about two weeks ago. Yes, he is my grandfather, and I feel awful. I wouldn't want my worst enemy to be killed in a car accident. Unforunately since I don't have a very close relationship with this side of the family, they just decided to omit me from the obit. See here. So, it's kinda like I don't exist to that side of the family. I exist, I just don't have a relatoinship with anyone. Needless to say, I feel bad, and lots of my prayers went out to them and I hope them the best.

So, the last few weeks have been a little stressful, and eventful. Hopefully we will start to gain some good vibes and changes in the coming weeks!

Parenting...FAIL

When a Thong is Just WRONG!!!!!

When you're back from the grave.....
When it's holding you together.....


When your armpits touch it.....

When it's getting a bear hugg......

When it's on sideways.... WTF?

When it's trying to escape.....

On the soccer field..
When it's worn on the outside.....

The Human Body!

The Human Body!

It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.

One human hair can support 3kg (6.6 lb).

The average man's penis is three times the length of his thumb.

Human thighbones are stronger than concrete.

A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.

There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.

Women blink twice as often as men.

The average person's skin weighs twice as much as the brain.

Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.

If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.

Women reading this will be finished now.

Men are still busy checking their thumbs.

He's my brother!

Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter. The man at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?" "Eight," the boy replied. The man continued, "do you know what these are used for?" The boy replied, "not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him. He's my brother. He's four. We saw on TV that if you use these you would be able to swim and ride a bike. Right now, he can't do either."